August Thirteenth

It’s something different about this day. I feel uneasy and somehow my emotions are rattled just enough to divert my mind to you. The lid I kept on so tight has loosened and gone into a tail wind of questions I’ll never be able to answer. I hold on to a piece of you because I’m scared to let go. We started in your dreams, you manifested me to be your dream come reality. I held on to that, I believed that, but what should I believe now? There is a wedge between us, a dark tunnel has shadowed our spark, the light we had in our eyes is gone. When your eyes would close I would be your awakening but now I’m gone. How can you see me now? Am I still in your dreams? You said “You call this honesty”, but this dark just scares me. My truth is in my light, push through my fears and claim what should be real . You must feel what I feel, because today feels different.

.. I smile in the light but cry in the dark. Loved how we created a beautiful fire. From a flick of a spark to crazy wild flame. Honesty I swore but now I’m torn apart. Conflicted between you two, conflicted between us two. You left with a huge scar on your heart, mine is still open … at least you found a way to heal. Not once did you lie, but now you have, you stand there accused of the pain you’ve caused, blaming it on the pain I caused. Not hard enough did I try, we both know that but I’ll stand tall with my unhealed wound and remember I was not abused, I was just confused. This day will always be different, but if feeling this connects me to you still after, I’ll love that I love you.

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